"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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