So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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