I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
