I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
