And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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