I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I stole a fireplace last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize