That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
