You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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