I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
