I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
