i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize