is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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