The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
