we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
