I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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