I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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