I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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