Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
