goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
