About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
