Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
