It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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