what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this just has baby written all over it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize