Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize