Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
