captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
