i just wanna soil my oats bro
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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