I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
