He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
