Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
