Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
