brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
