did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
