I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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