There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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