Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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