you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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