butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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