really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Cover your peen. We're going out.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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