You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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