All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
