"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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