Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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