TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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