using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
