There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
