I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
