yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
