I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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