someone owes me an orgasm
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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