P.S. I can't hear my feet
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
