Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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