So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
