Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
