I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
