she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
