It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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