i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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