Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
